The Humanoid Roster.

The pitch decks call it a labor shortage. The spec sheets call it a payload. This is the spec sheet.

Twelve humanoid robots, built across four countries, with thirty-nine billion dollars in disclosed funding behind them. Seven are already deployed or in production — moving totes in an Amazon warehouse, sequencing car parts at Hyundai, working a Mercedes-Benz line. The rest are weeks or quarters away. Every one is engineered to a job description: a task a person currently gets paid to do.

We are not against machines. We are against the quiet decision to make people optional and call it progress. So we logged the receipts the executives say out loud — "work will be optional," "a new species," "in place of them" — and filed each next to the hardware that makes the sentence literal. Open any unit. Read what it lifts, what it costs, who's paying, and the jobs it's pointed at. Then decide whether "nobody's losing their job to a robot" still sounds like a fact.